We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
