you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
