Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
