That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
