College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
