So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
