I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
