So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
