In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
