you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
