He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
