Im at strip club and am horny
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
