A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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