True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
