Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
