TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
