there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
