Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
