He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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