i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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