he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
