I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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