I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
tell me about the eggs
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