The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
