walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Randomize
