this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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