Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize