Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
MIDGETS
????
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
