your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
