If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
