i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
