Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
