its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize