Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
