he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
