You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
