Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
