Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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