He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
