i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
