I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
