Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
