yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
