well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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