i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's the barista slut.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
