Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
