Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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