You made me cry and you don't even care
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
