Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
