I think im going to throw up on grandma
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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