Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize