We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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