THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize