We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
