i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
