hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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