I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize