He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
