He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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