Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
