i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
