i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
