They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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