if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
