i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
