It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
