'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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