There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
40s are totally the cure
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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