so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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