if i can run in heels then i can drive
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
