i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
