1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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